I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
