Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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