I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
