Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
