thus making me awesome and them whores
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The beer is more important than you right now.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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