Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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