Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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