Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize