Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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