i was rollin on her like bob the builder
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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