K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
home. puking in laundry basket.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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