When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I could fuck to npr.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
