Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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