thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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