Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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