I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
