Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
