Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
