dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
