smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
