oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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