That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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