Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
