it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
is that a dick in a sweater?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
