Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize
