the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
