A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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