We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
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Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
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I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?