when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.