He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
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She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
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Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia