; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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