Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
