She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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