You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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