i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
