I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Fuck appropriateness.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
