never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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