we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Everyone says I win the strip club
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize