My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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