She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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