Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
