Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
