Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
