Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Randomize
