He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
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Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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