i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
