Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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