hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Randomize
