somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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