Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
