I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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