i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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