so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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