Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
