There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
