from now on my penis is your penis
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There r osticjed everywhere
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
