do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
