Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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