Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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